I Surrender All...

I absolutely LOVE this song by Clay Crosse. I will post the lyrics under the video for you. This song means so much to me. It is so powerful.

I Surrender All lyrics

I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand

In the middle of the battle I beleive I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrafice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain

So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay
down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacraficial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all

Love,
Wendy Darling

BEE Update...

Well, today has been a day, let me tell you. Last night we thought the bees had all flown away. We thought they had found their new home, and had gone to build their little bee kingdom, perhaps in a hollow tree. But, that was not to be; or "bee" if you will. :-) (See, even in times like these I still try to have a sense of humor)

Anyway, yesterday we called a man that was recommended to us. I will refer to him as "the bee keeper." He came over today, and I said, " We think they have flown away, but man you should have seen the pictures we took!" He said, "I would love to see the pictures. May I?" So, I invited him in and took him out back to show him where the bees "were".

OH MY GOODNESS, y'all. The bees are not gone, they just moved under the roof of our house. :-( The "guards" were busy flying around the hole in the roof, which is apparently their new doorway. Turns out that we were not their "stop off point between homes", but their destination. :-(

The "Bee Keeper" then showed me pictures he had of other homes who have suffered the same fate. NOT PRETTY! Let me just say that the photos I posted yesterday are NOTHING compared to what I saw in his photos. Based on the photos I showed him he estimates we have between 20, 000- 30, 000 bees.

So, I asked, "Can you remove them, and how much will you charge?" His reply, "Yes, and about $100." SOLD. We want the bees gone.

At his encouragement I did research bee removal in the area to see how much other people charge, and believe me when I tell you that we are getting a HUGE deal. Mostly because the others would have to come from a far distance and the gas alone would come to more than $100, so we are not complaining. We just want the bees GONE.

Love,
Wendy Darling

BEES...

Yesterday we had a really weird thing happen at our house. Let me explain. During lunch yesterday I looked out the window and noticed there was a group of "something" flying around outside. Upon closer inspection my sister determined it was a group of bees.

My brother decided to investigate and came back for the camera. THIS is what was "swarming" around one corner of our house.


Yes, Internet friends, that is a large colony of honey bees. We have been told that honey bees will often congregate in one place when they are moving to a new hive. While the scouts are looking for a new place, the queen and worker bees stay together. Why on earth they have chosen this one particular corner of our home we have no clue. From what we have learned this usually ends in about 24 hours. It has been over 24 hours, and we are ready for them to move on.

I took the bottom photo out our back door about 30 minutes ago.

I was given the names of two people in our area who keep bees, and I have called them to see if they will come and get them. I am waiting for a call back.

Has anyone else ever had this happen to them? If so, what did you do? I would really like to know, because I am starting to feel like I am in one of those really cheesy old horror movies.

Love,
Wendy Darling

I am a VERY rich woman!!

In the last few days I have won hundreds of thousands of dollars, several trips and several nice cars. I am rich!!

Or... I would be if I was, you know, actually playing the games on the game shows I was watching.

Little Mark is still visiting his Mom in Dallas. Since I can't "get away" for a much needed break I have just done the best I could to relax. For about a week I have been trying to not do too much that required actually thinking. Other than my Bible Study in the morning, I have tried to only use the required number of brain cells to do housework and still function at a normal capacity. My taste in TV shows has changed, and I really don't care to watch a lot of the shows I used to enjoy.

We won't even go into the whole "Jericho" being canceled thing...

Anyway, for true enjoyment that does not require much brain power I watch TV game shows. Yes folks, my life has sunk to watching GSN...

My favorites are Family Feud, old episodes of Card Sharks, and Match Game; Lingo, Wheel of Fortune and my new favorite Bingo. Yes, Patrick Duffy is one sexy man as he reads those questions. :-) Also, it is amazing at just how much useless knowledge I have floating around in my head.

My family keeps saying, "We have got to get you on a game show. We could win lots of money." That's mighty nice of you for the thinking so, but there are a few things wrong with that plan. 1) We can't afford the air fare. 2) When did you ever see a "plus size" contestant on Lingo? and 3) I would probably freeze if I actually got on the shows.

So, I will just be satisfied with sitting in front of my TV "winning" the prizes that will never be delivered, but just think of how much air fare/gas we saved by me not actually going. :-)

Love,
Wendy Darling

The child, she is honest... ;-)

"Angel" came to visit me yesterday. She had her little closing program from pre-school. It was very cute, and her Mom even managed to get her into a dress rather than a Spiderman shirt and jeans. :-) She was so precious singing her little song about the months of the year and something about a marching dinosaur. :-)

She asked her mom if she could go to Aunt Wendy's house for a little while. So, she came over and ate lunch. She then begged to help me make some cookies.

OK, so she actually begged to get on the computer to play "WOW WOW Wubbzie", which I suspect is the whole reason she wanted to visit. :-) After about 30 minutes on the computer I decided she had enough and I quickly came up with the idea of making cookies to distract her.

When in doubt, bake. :-)

I pulled out my recipe book and looked for the recipe that had a lot of ingredients she could put in. I decided on "Ranger Cookies", because a lot of the measurements do not have to be EXACT, and what child would not want to crunch up Corn Flakes in a Ziploc bag? :-)

I pulled out all of the ingredients and asked "Angel" if she would do me a big favor and come crush the cereal for me. She was very happy to oblige. She then helped put all of the other inside, tasting the cereal and coconut before putting it in. She really liked the coconut. :-)

She also liked the dough, because it is one of those that you have to mix with your hands after a while, and then roll into balls.

After the first batch came out we tried our cookies and she exclaimed happily, "Aunt Wendy, you make the bestest cookies and cakes in the whole wide world. I love your cookies!"

Man, did that make me feel good! :-) I know I'm not the best baker in the world, but it is nice to have someone think so. Even if they are 4 years old.

As we all know a 4 year old will tell you truth, whether you want to hear or not. ;-)

I did tell her that she was also a very good cookie baker, because she helped make those cookies. You should have seen her little face beam. :-) I love when children get that "beam" after being told they did a good job. :-) Little Mark still gets that beam too. :-)

So, we bagged up a few for her take home to share with the family, and tell them all how she made the best cookies in the world.

Here is the recipe, just in case you and the kiddos would like to bake some this weekend. :-)

RANGER COOKIES

1/2 C Shortening
1/2 C white sugar
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 C Cornflakes (crushed)
1/2 C coconut or pecans
1 egg (beaten)
1 t vanilla
1 C flour (sifted)
1t baking powder
1 C Quick Oats

Cream together shortening and sugars. Add egg and vanilla. Mix well. In a separate bowl sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt together. Add a little at a time to the wet mixture, mixing well between each addition. Add the oats and coconut (or pecans). The dough will be very dry. (This is the part where we mixed with our hands.)

Roll dough into balls and press to flatten a little. Press onto a greased cookie sheet (I use parchment paper) and bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes. ENJOY!

Love,
Wendy Darling

Soldier's Angels needs help...

I know that I have posted about Soldier's Angels before, but I wanted to mention them again today. Right now there are almost 1000 soldiers waiting to be adopted through this organization.

I know that times are tight for everyone right now, but these are the people who put their life on the line for us everyday. If you can adopt even one soldier that will help them so much. All they want are letters, and occasionally packages. They just want to know that we still care. Hearing their name called at mail call boosts their moral so much.

If you can help, please visit this website http://www.soldiersangelsforum.com and sign up. You will be so glad that you did. :-)

And, this weekend let's remember all of the men and women who gave their lives so that we are free today. Have a safe weekend everyone.

Love,
Wendy Darling

We are praying for them...

This was taken directly from the Steven Curtis Chapman website.


MARIA SUE CHAPMAN, DAUGHTER OF STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, DIES IN ACCIDENT AT FAMILY HOME

NASHVILLE, TN...5/21/08... At approximately 5pm on the afternoon of Wednesday May 21st, Maria Sue Chapman, 5 years old and the youngest daughter to Steven and Mary Beth Chapman was struck in the driveway of the Chapman home in Franklin, TN. Maria was rushed to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville, transported by LifeFlight, but died of her injuries there. Maria is one of the close knit family’s six children and one of their three adopted daughters.

Love,
Wendy Darling

Prince Caspian Review...(may contain spoilers)

I will try very hard to not contain any spoilers for those of you who want to see the movie. :-)
Also, please keep in mind that this is MY opinion. I am not a "professional" movie reviewer; I just know what I like...

Unfortunately, I didn't like this movie; which is sad because I looked forward to it for so long. "Little Mark" and I are reading the books together, and we so enjoyed "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" that I had high hopes for "Prince Caspian."

First, if you have read the book then you will notice A LOT of changes in the movie. A LOT.
Because of these changes I found the movie 1) rushed in parts, 2) totally resenting the "conflict" they created between Peter and Caspian, and 3) most of the symbolism from the book was totally cut out/lost in the movie. 4) A lot that the book explained was completely left out of the movie, therefore causing a lot of confusion, 5) they added so MUCH that was not in the book that it totally changed the story for me, and not in a good way. :-(

Although I liked the acting. The actors portraying the Pevensie children did a great job; just as they did in the first one. Ben Barnes did a great job portraying Prince Caspian and Peter Dinklage made a great Trumpkin.

I also could have done without the whole "romance thing" they tried to create between Susan and Caspian. There was many more changes that I didn't like, but I am restraining myself from listing them here, because I do not want to add anymore "spoilers" for those who have not seen the movie.

I promised "Little Mark" I would take him to see it, since we did read the book. However, we will need to have a talk about "creative licensing", and then I will let him form his own opinion. I look forward to hearing what he has to say.

We are planning to take the nephews to the drive-in to see it next weekend. If nothing else, they will get the drive-in movie experience. :-)

SO, did you see the movie? What did you think? I would love to read your opinions in the comment section.

Love,
Wendy Darling

Guess what I am going to see tomorrow night? :-)



I'll give you my review after I see it.
Love,
Wendy Darling

I am back/and a recipe

Hello friends. :-) I know I have not been posting regularly, I am sorry. The short, vague explanation is that the "crisis that tested our families faith to the very core" mentioned in this post is FINALLY over. I would also like to report that God was indeed glorified, and we are all stronger in our faith for having gone through it. PRAISE HIM!!

Perhaps one day I may give you the whole story and share how God was glorified, but it is not just MY STORY to tell, so I will have to wait until most parties involved are OK with me sharing it.

NOW, the recipe.

I don't usually participate in "Saturday Stirrings" but since I needed something to blog about I thought I would share this wonderful recipe with you. :-)

We got this from the "Kraft: Food and Family Magazine" last month. If you are not familiar with this magazine please visit them here, and sign up to receive this free magazine. They really are full of great recipes y'all.

Anyway, on with the recipe. This is an awesome recipe. Little Mark LOVED them. He ate 4 that night at dinner. FOUR! Even after he declared "that looks nasty; I'm not eating it." Yeah, bud, try saying that with your mouth full of tuna cake. :-) Before posting the recipe let me just say that when we made it we doubled the recipe and only made half of the recipe for dinner that night, and then the rest at lunch the next day. It worked wonderfully. :-)

TUNA CAKES
prep time: 10 minutes Total: 26 minutes, including refrigerating.

2 cans (6 oz each) of light tuna in water, drained and flaked
1 pkg (6 oz) Stove Top stuffing mix for chicken. (we used the "off-brand" cornbread stuffing and it worked just fine.)
1 C Kraft shredded mild cheddar cheese
1/2 C shredded carrots
1/3 C Kraft Mayo Real Mayonnaise
2 Tbl. Sweet Pickle Relish
3/4 C water

Mix the tuna, stuffing mix, cheese, carrots, dressing, relish and water in a bowl. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for 10 minutes. Heat a large nonstick skillet sprayed with cooking spray on medium heat. Scoop tuna mixture, using about 1/3 C for each cake, into skillet in batches. Try using an ice cream scoop to make evenly portion batches. (We did and it worked great!)
Gently flatten cakes using a spatula. Cook 3 minutes on each side or until they are golden brown on both sides, turning cakes over carefully. Makes 6 servings, 2 tuna cakes each.

I am sorry that there aren't any photos this time, but believe me when I tell you that these are AMAZING, and healthy. :-) Enjoy!

Love,
Wendy Darling

Acappella...

Back in '93 Acappella did a concert at our college. They were, in a word, AWESOME. :-)
I know that these are not the same guys that performed back then, but it is the same group, and they stills sound AWESOME! :-) This is a song that they performed at that concert.

Enjoy!!




Love,
Wendy Darling

Video...

I know I have shared about the movie "Fireproof" before, but they just released a video with one of the songs from the movie and I really wanted to share it with you. It looks like it is going a great soundtrack, just like "Facing the Giants". :-) Enjoy.






Love,
Wendy Darling

I just had to share....

...this guy with you. :-) Adam Paul Williams did a mini concert at our church last night. OH MY GOODNESS, y'all. He has definitely been blessed with a voice! Even "Little Mark" liked him, and we purchased his new CD, "Something New." This is the same "guest speaker" mentioned in yesterday's post. :-)

If you visit his myspace page then you can here some of the songs on the album. I absolutely love the song he sang before the Lord's Supper yesterday. It's called "We Sing Jesus Christ", and let me just say that it is AMAZING. Yes, it is THE song Little Mark watched to see if I would cry on, and yes I did. Sadly, it is not yet on a CD.

He sang the songs "Live Like a King", "You Raise Me Up", and "You Proved Your Love" as well last night. Totally awesome, and they are on the CD that I purchased.

Did I mention that I liked this guy? :-)

He was also very nice, and autographed the CD insert for Little Mark. :-)

I really wanted his other 2 CDs as well, but... maybe next time... :-)

So, hop on over to his myspace and have a listen to him. :-)

Love,

Wendy Darling

Clearly, we need to train him better...

So, "Little Mark" and I went to church this morning. The following is a list of highlights while we were there...

1. Little Mark - "I'm still hungry. Let's skip services and go home."
Me- "You are not going home just so you can get on the computer."
Little Mark- (SIGH) Let's go to church.

2. Upon seeing the guest singer get up to the microphone...
Little Mark - (a little too loudly) "Is that S, our Youth Pastor?"
Me - No. Now be quiet.
Little Mark - "It sure looks like him. Are you sure?"
Me- "Yes! He's a guest singer. Now be quiet. I'm trying to listen."

3. Little Mark then proceeds to keep looking closely at me to see if I am going to cry during the song. Yes, I did.

4. Upon hearing the pastor say, "We will be observing the Lord's Supper this morning and if you are visiting us, and you know the Lord Jesus as your Saviour, we would love for you to partake with us.... we don't care want denomination you are..."
Little Mark: "I'm half Presbyterian."
Me: - "SHH.."
Little Mark- "I am! I'm part Presbyterian on my Mama's side."
Me- (trying to stifle a laugh) "SHHHHHHHH!"

5. During the Lord's Supper..
Little Mark- "Why do we have to wait to eat the bread? We don't have to wait at Mama's church. They just put it in your mouth and you eat it."
After eating the bread...
"This bread is stale. It needs yeast."
Me- "UGH!" "SHHHH" thinking "note to self. Go over the symbolism of the Lord's Supper with him AGAIN."

6. Little Mark- "Why do we have to be so quiet while they pass everything out?" Why is that person crying?"
Me- "If you do not stop talking right now I will ground you for eternity."

7. Upon receiving the juice....
Little Mark - (Again, a little too loudly) "We get real wine at Mama's church."

Clearly, I have failed him...

Love,
Wendy Darling

My Testimony

DeeDee over at “Coulda Been Worse” is having a “Stand Up and Testify Carnival”, and I have been led to participate. It all began with this post. Who would have thought that a testimony carnival would come from a photo of DeeDee and Brad Pitt playing poker, but the Lord does work in mysterious ways…

In this case, He has been all over it. I have always been afraid to share my testimony. For one reason, I was raised that what is between you and God is personal and private. You don’t talk about it. Well, that is just flat not scriptural. God wants us to talk about it. Not only that, He commands us to share our testimonies. How else can we share Christ with others, and tell what He has done for us if we don’t tell them our testimony.

Second, I was always afraid for people to know my sins, because I didn’t want them to think badly of me. I mean, I don’t want to be reminded of my sins, why would I want to confess them to someone else? Well, my friend, that is called pride. And it is a sin. We cannot allow God to lift us up if we are first not willing to humble ourselves before Him.

I was first convinced sharing my testimony while doing the “Stepping Up” Bible Study by Beth Moore. The more I got into the word the more I wanted to get into it. Then, I went straight into the study, “Breaking Free.” Guess what it is about? Yep, letting go of your bondage and sharing what God has done for you. That means giving your testimony. I have been “mentally” preparing my testimony for months. I thought, perhaps God would have me share my testimony at a singles retreat or Thursday night Bible Study. Then, the “Brad Pitt” post came, and I was convinced to participate in this carnival.

I don’t mind telling you that the thought of sharing my testimony still scares me to death. I don’t know why it should, because God has truly changed my life, and I do want to share that. But, it’s talking about what he changed me from that scares me. I mean, there will be strangers reading this post as well as family and friends. Some of my family and friends don’t even know some of these things about me. What if they don’t like me anymore? What if I lose their respect? What if they no longer think I am nice? What if they laugh at me? Or worse, what if they don’t forgive me?

So, I have prayed about this post for over a week. (Really for months if you count when I was first convinced) Praying about this has literally put me on my face before God, and it has taken me over a week to write it. I know this will be a long post, and I apologize ahead of time. My prayer is that at the end of this someone will be inspired to give their life to the Lord, or to have the courage to share what God has done for them. The hardest realization, for me, is that we are all human. We all make mistakes. Maybe not the same ones as others, but in God’s eyes there is not any difference. Sin is sin. And if He will forgive me, He will forgive you. He promised He would. Let’s begin.

First, I was raised to believe in God. We did attend church until I was about 5 years old, at which time my Daddy had a disagreement with the preacher and we did not return. Sundays became “Family Day.” We cleaned house, watched football, just relaxed and played games, or went on a family trip.

However, we were never kept from going to church with friends, and my sisters and I even attended “Missionettes” on Wednesday evenings. When I was a freshman in High School I even went to church on Sunday mornings with a friend of mine. It was at that time that I went forward to pray. Now, I have to tell you that this was an Assembly of God church, which I really didn’t know a lot about. Even though I had been attending Missionettes for a few years I still didn’t really understand their “doctrine” or belief system. So, after I prayed the preacher asked me if I “spoke”. I thought he asked if I prayed. I said, “Yes”, and he immediately told me I had been saved. So, I thought I had been saved. It would be many years before I realized that I was SO NOT saved.

When I was young and stupid I acted, well… young and stupid. My “sins” consisted mostly of lying, disobeying my parents, things like that. However, something did happen during that time that would later set a pattern of sin in my life. This is one of the parts of my testimony where I “put myself out there.” I don’t mind telling you that I am tearing up just typing these words, and I haven’t even told what happened yet.

When I was 7-8 years old I was sexually abused by an older relative. Not an adult, just an older, male relative. I do understand that that sin was not on me. However, because of that incident I allowed that to be a stepping stone later in my life to continue down that path. But, in the beginning I had such low self-esteem, and was afraid of even my own shadow at times, that I told no one. Back then, you didn’t tell. My parents did find out, and took care of it “in house.” But, that was it. It was not really spoken of again.

I would love to tell you that was the only bad thing in my life, but we all know that would be a lie. I hid my sins pretty well, but in reality, I was awful. I gossiped, I was prideful, I was hypocritical. I had bad thoughts, and at times I even used bad words. Mind you, most of this was not done around other people. To them, I was still the nice little fat girl who was shy, and afraid of her own shadow.

When I was 15 my Daddy died. I know I have spoken of that before, so I won’t go into detail about that. But, it was a life changing thing, to say the least. We then moved to what I refer to “cow town USA.” I HATED living there. The phrase “bloom where you are planted” was not exactly a phrase I lived by. I was very active in FHA, and I did enjoy that. We also began going back to Church, and I enjoyed it.

I always enjoyed going to church. I have always liked learning about God, but I never thought I was “good enough” for Him to love me. Or so I thought. I never studied the Bible on my own. I never read it. I knew what I was taught in church and Sunday school and that was it. I never really understood about having a personal relationship with God. I did however, get baptized, because I thought I had been saved when I “spoke”, and when you get saved you get baptized. Right? I found out later that all I got was wet.

When I was 18 I went to Jr. College on 2 scholarships. It was a private, Christian college. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I did have to take a religion class each semester, but I didn’t mind, because I loved to learn more about God. I still didn’t have a personal relationship with Him, but I loved learning. It was during a New Testament class that I suddenly started doubting my salvation. I mean, they were saying that you had to “confess your sins with your mouth”, and “turn your life over to God.” That you, personally, had to pray the “sinner’s prayer.” I didn’t understand what that meant. I mean, the preacher told me I had been saved. I even got baptized. I thought I must just have understood it wrong. I thought of asking the professor or one of my “preacher friends” about it. But then I thought, “No. They think I am already saved. I’ve been baptized. I even teach Sunday school occasionally. What would it look like if all of sudden I say that I am not saved?” So, I kept it to myself. It literally made me ill every time I thought about it.

So, one night after a group Bible Study I just couldn’t take it anymore. I talked to one of my “preacher friends” and asked him how I knew for sure that I was saved. He told me the same things that I had been learning in class. When I reminded him of what the preacher said he asked me if I had prayed for God to forgive me. Had I made a conscious decision to live my life for Him? I said, “No.” I reminded him that I had been baptized. He told me that if I was baptized, but not saved, then I just got wet. That is why I could not have a personal relationship with God. That night I prayed, for real, and I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior.

I could not have been more wrong about everyone’s reaction. They were not confused or angry. They were happy for me. I really grew, spiritually, for the next two years. I taught Sunday school. I witnessed to others, and even dealt with the bondage of what happened in my childhood, and forgave the person who did it. I learned a lot, but unfortunately I still did not have the satisfying relationship I was searching for.

I left the college after 2 years and moved back home. I got 2 jobs and worked a lot. I also took on some knew bondage that I was not aware of at the time. Pride, resentment, anger, prayerlessness and other things kept me from a relationship with God. Because of these things I “fell away” from God. My prayer life became all but non-existent. I stopped reading/studying my Bible, and that led me to make a very hasty decision, which I would regret.

For me, I became very dissatisfied at home. I basically “ran away” to another town. I wanted to start over, but I had no plan, no money and no job. I did get a job as a live-in nanny shortly after moving there. It was for a couple who were not Christians. I did attend church while there, but I most definitely listened to the others around me instead of God. In my heart I knew I had made a mistake, but I was too prideful to go home. So, I stayed. I began listening to others instead of listening to God. My thoughts became more “worldly”, and my decisions were completely out of character for me. I began to drink, and associate with people of “questionable” character.

On one such occasion I went out with a man that I barely knew. Something I would have NEVER done before. He tried to get me to have sex with him, and I actually considered it, but when I said no he got angry. I cannot tell you how I got out of the situation, because I honestly don’t remember. I just know I got away, but instead of that being a “wake up” call, I allowed it to influence me to make a stupid decision.

Thinking even more “worldly” I decided that I needed to know that a physical relationship was not something to be feared. So, I decided to give the one precious gift God had given me away. I talked it over with a guy that I knew, and began my downward spiral into sexual sin. Did I feel guilty? Yes. But, after that night I thought, “I did it. There is no way God will forgive me now. So, why bother trying to live right.” From that time I walked away from God. My prayerlessness, my lack of focus on God blurred that line of right and wrong. And what was worse, people still thought that I was a Christian. I felt sick anytime someone would talk to me about God, because they did not know my “other” life. I had them fooled, but not God or myself.

After a few months I moved back to “cow town USA”, and I tried very hard to get back into the church, but I held on to my past sins and guilt. That continued to keep me from a relationship with God. At that time my spiral into sexual sin continued to take me down further. I will not go into detail about that. I do not want Satan to be glorified in any way about this. All that needs to be said is that struggle in this area of sin lasted for several years.

During those years I did go back to the same Christian Jr. College. I rededicated my life to the Lord, and things were better for awhile. I still held on to the sins of pride, lack of forgiveness, and others. I still did not have that satisfying relationship with God that I so desperately wanted. I was jealous that others did have it. I felt like I was wandering in a wilderness, and I could see the way out, but I kept wandering in circles, never reaching the way out. Does that make sense?

I discovered another sin, jealousy, at that time in my life. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. I felt now that would never happen. God would punish me for my sins. I had learned when I was 19 that I would probably never be able to have children. This was confirmed in my early 20s. This, I felt, was God’s punishment to me. I would never marry, because what man would want a wife that had committed the sins that I had committed. I felt that way for many years, and it caused me walk away from God, again.

It got to the point that I KNEW ahead of time I was going to give in to the temptation, and instead of praying for God to lead me from it, I actually pushed the voice of the Holy Spirit out of my head. Did you get that? I basically told the Holy Spirit, the voice of God, to “shut up.” You know what? Unfortunately for me, He did.

During that time I did things I never would have considered doing before. I committed wrongs against people that were totally out of character for me. I still get to the point of being physically ill just thinking about it.

For the last seven years or so, I have struggled between trying to have a relationship with God, and allowing Satan to put that doubt in my head that “I’m not good enough. God will never be able to use me, or love me.” “I’m too bad.” “If people really knew the things I had done they would never speak to me again.” After all, I had quieted the voice of the Holy Spirit. How do you have a relationship with someone you don’t even talk to?

This was also during this time that my sister was gracious enough to allow me to homeschool my nephew. Being around the other homeschoolers and using Christian curriculum kept God in my mind. Even though I struggled, He was there. Making sure my nephew went to church kept me going to church, therefore kept God in my mind. One day, I had enough! I read all of time about how God forgave people of horrible sins, and He used them. Would He do the same for me? I rededicated my life to God, and begged for His forgiveness, and wisdom. I took very small baby-steps toward the path back to Him.

During this time several situations arose which strengthened my faith in God. First, I became engaged. After a year and a half of engagement I KNEW that I was not supposed to get married. So, the question presented to me was, “Do I do what I WANT to do, or do what I know God wants for me?” Remember, my life dream was to be a wife and mother. But, I sincerely prayed for the strength to do God’s will. I called off my wedding. This was my first big step in beginning a new, real relationship with God.

During this time God also gave me the strength to try to rebuild relationships with certain family members; relationships that I had a huge part in destroying to begin with. Remember the pride, self-righteousness…? Yeah, huge relationship destroyers. These relationships still aren’t 100%, but I am striving to make them stronger, with God’s help.

About two years ago I decided I was not going to allow Satan to win any more battles. I was going to fight for a relationship with God. I still didn’t quite know what to do, or how to do it, but I was determined to learn. It started with a weekly womens group. I kept my mouth shut and listened. We did a study on the Proverbs 31 woman. Oh, how I wanted to be her. So, I tried taking baby-steps. I committed to reading my Bible more; to pray, and more importantly, listen to God. A little over a year ago I felt God calling me to move to a different church.

Instead of just “jumping into it”, I prayed about it for several months. Really searching for God’s will. Once I was sure of His will, I did move churches. A couple of months after moving to the new church I joined a woman’s Bible study class. They were doing the book of Daniel, by Beth Moore. This would be my introduction into Beth Moore studies. I learned SO MUCH and, more importantly, I enjoyed it! This got me really in the habit of daily prayer and study. I could see my life/attitude changing.

Now, this was actually more of a history/prophecy study. Not exactly “life changing”, but it was to me. I felt comfortable around the ladies, my hunger to learn more grew. As soon as they announced the study for “Stepping Up” I signed up for the class. Here is where my new relationship with God would really grow.

Each day I looked forward to seeing what God had to teach me. I was so excited to learn/be reminded that God does not sleep. That He WANTS for each of us to trust Him, and be saved. After all, He sent His Son for ALL OF US, so that we may be forgiven. The one verse that really hit home with me was Psalm 130: 3-4 “If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.


I swear y’all, when I read that I almost went Pentecostal in my bedroom; raising my hands and praising God. (And for a Baptist that is really saying something. LOL….) He really didn’t keep a record of my sins. His desire is NOT to condemn us, but to forgive and free us of bondage! If He didn’t “keep an account” why was I? (I’m getting goose bumps all over again, y’all.)

When we began that study we committed to asking God to help us grow/teach us everyday. So, I vowed to give Him everyday of my life. Everyday I woke up and the first thing I did was pray for His guidance. I gave Him that day. I studied His word everyday. Now, does that mean I never got down? No. Did I still struggle with thinking of past sins and guilt? Yes, but I was quick to pray for those thoughts to be removed now, instead of concentrating on them. Do I still sin? Everyday. But, I am giving them all over to Him. I was so much happier, and was developing a “SATISFYING” relationship with God. I even committed to not doing the things that led me down the spiral to begin with.


I had to distance myself from certain movies, songs, even jokes with subtle innuendos. Things that would make me feel accepted by others and then bad about myself. Things that took my mind off of God. Even if my actions or thoughts weren’t considered sinful by the world, I had to remove that. Does that make me a “prude” in others eyes? Probably. Does it make me a “fanatic”? Am I taking my faith “TOO seriously?” Probably. But, I know me. And I know that to have the relationship that I want to have with Christ this is what I have to do.


Does this mean there is no joy, laughter, in my life? Absolutely not! In fact, there is much more now than ever.


You know what’s about to happen right? Every time God is winning, Satan will throw something at us to try to ruin that relationship. God allowed me to be tested. Without going into detail I will just say that God has allowed our family to go through a crisis that tested our faith to the very core. I cannot speak for everyone. This is my testimony, so I will just tell you how I have come through this test.


First, let me say that “God is good!” One of the things I have learned is that Satan cannot stay somewhere if God is there. So, I took to heart the advice someone gave me not long ago. “When you feel like Satan is tempting/testing you, start singing praises to God. Praise Him for something, anything. Satan cannot stay around if you do that, and you will get through it.” So, I did. My favorite songs to sing are “Steal my Joy” and “Shackles” by Mandissa, as well as several praise choruses.


Y’all, I cannot tell you how totally on the mark that advice is. If you’ve never tried it, do it. It works!! Praise God!! I can tell you that it is only because of God that I have the mindset/attitude that I do. My “mantra” has become, “God is in control. His will be done” I constantly pray for strength and understanding.


I have learned to trust Him completely, and to look back on my past and realize His plan for my life. Instead of believing I was being punished for not fulfilling my dream of being a wife and mother I now know that it is actually a blessing. One thing I have learned from “Breaking Free” is: “The potential for spiritual offspring in the lives of those physically barren is virtually limitless. If He restricts you from physical offspring, He desires to set you free from all restrictions in order to bear spiritual offspring.” (Beth Moore, “Breaking Free)


OH MY WORD, y’all. That realization has spoken so much to me. And I do feel like I am being “groomed” for such a thing. When and how? I have no idea. But, I am looking forward to the journey.


Another realization I have learned lately is this; according to Psalm 45: 13-15 “If anyone has accepted Christ she is a daughter of the King. And according to Isaiah 61:10 WE are the bride of Christ. No, I may not have an “earthly husband”, but I am part of the Bride of the greatest Husband to ever have existed. And, I may not have children, but thanks to the graciousness/love of my dear sister my nurturing side is definitely being used, and I get to still be a teacher through homeschooling. God is granting my dreams, just differently than I imagined. Different, but better.

And lastly, I know that even though I may not be “populating the earth” God can, and will, use me to populate the His Kingdom.


One of the great things about the internet is that it can be used for so many great things, like sharing God with others. Unfortunately, the bad thing about it is that facial expressions and sincerity is not something that can be produced with words on a “page”. As I have typed this entire thing, I have prayed that my sincere praise, love and appreciation for God come across to those who have made it this far in the post.


Everyday I feel closer to God, and the excitement to share Him with others grows even deeper. Everyday I pray for wisdom, guidance, humility and to hear His voice. (This from the woman that basically told Him to “shut up” years ago.) Now, I did not say all of this to say “WOO HOO! Look at me now.” No, I said all of this to say, “Praise God! Because, none of us can change without HIM and He can and will love you and change you for the better.” This is totally a “God thing, and it is meant point you to HIM.”


Yes, I know that there are those who know me who will question my sincerity. Who will doubt, or laugh at me. Especially those who know me personally, and go “I have never seen her act this way, or speak this way before. I don’t know whether to believe her, or think she’s a hypocrite.” All I can tell you is that I am still in the early stages of my journey. It is both exciting and scary. I am still learning and growing, and I will stumble. I pray that you will be there to help me get up when I do, and pray for me. For those who are reading and may not have the satisfying relationship with God that you want, or you are still holding on to “baggage” from past sins; let me encourage you to hand it over to Him, and “Enter into the joy of the Lord.” (Matt. 25:21)

Love,
Wendy Darling

I don't know why I haven't sent this before, but you do have a couple of days left to sign up. I am not doing a giveaway this time around, sorry. But, head on over to the others and see what you can win. :-)

Love,

Wendy Darling

Please, go and visit Boo Mama HERE, and help save a life.

Love,
Wendy Darling

Very Inspirational!! :-)

I haven't posted very much, because I am working on a post for next week. DeeDee is going to have a "testimony carnival", and I feel led to participate. You have no idea how much the thought of this scares me. I have been working on it since last weekend, and I can promise you I will still not feel satisfied the day I post it. It is the most dificult thing I ever written. Ever...

Anyway, I did want to share this fantastic lady with you. :-)

I know Patti Foster personally. I used to attend church with her and her family. I have heard her sing many times, and she is still awesome! She is such a wonderful speaker, and a wonderful person. She was at a local book night where several authors got together and you could meet them. My sister was nice enough to pick up a copy of the book "Amazing Faith" for me, which Patti signed. :-) Her story, which is just one of many in the book, is so inspiring.

Please, visit her website. You may be blessed to hear her speak one day. :-) Here is what the bio on her site says:

" Patti Foster’s life is a testament to the intense love she feels for others. Her joy and laughter refreshes those around her, and she welcomes opportunities to influence lives and make a difference.Originally from Jacksonville, Texas, Patti comes from a supportive family who encouraged her to take risks, to try hard and learn from mistakes.

As a college student majoring in music education, Patti traveled with a fine arts team to Australia, toured with the university choir to the British Isles and spent a week in the heart of Mexico with a mission group. Performances with the Fort Worth Chamber Orchestra and the Sam Houston State University Orchestra further broadened her scope of music and expression. She graduated from Sam Houston State University ( Huntsville, Texas) in 1989, and shortly after, traveled abroad to Eastern Europe providing music for crusades and teaching conversational English through music. Since 1990, Patti’s focus has been radio. She was the morning show host at WFRN, an inspirational Christian radio station in South Bend/Elkhart, Indiana. Before that, she fulfilled a variety of positions for KVNE, a non-commercial Christian music station in Tyler, Texas. Patti’s radio career provided opportunities that led her into becoming a full-time speaker. She traveled nation-wide speaking to church and corporate organizations of all sizes. On June 18, 2002, Patti was severely injured in a horrific traffic accident. She suffered severe head trauma and was in a coma for six weeks. Her life hung in the balance. She has had to learn to live again.

And now, as her restoration process continues, Patti’s desire is still to inspire, encourage and motivate so many through her speaking.Patti Foster in one word? Passionate. Whether on the tennis court or on the fairway, in a crowd or at home with family, on stage or on the air—she gives all that she has to whatever she pursues.

Love,

Wendy Darling

What I did today... :-)

Now, let's pray it makes it to the church looking like that... ;-)

Love,

Wendy Darling

Just wanted to share...

I hope that you all have had a really great day. Mine was long, but fun and productive. :-) I wanted to share a couple of things with you about my day. ;-)

First, this list was given to me today. I REALLY like it, and thought that I would share it with you. It is called "The 21 Rules of This House", and is from the book by the same name, written by Gregg and Josh Harris.

The 21 Rules of This House
In This House:

1. We obey our Lord Jesus Christ.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another’s interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
13. We take good care of everything God has given us.
14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
15. When we open something, we close it.
16. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
17. When we take something out, we put it away.
18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
21. When we disobey or forget any of The 21 Rules of This House, we accept the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I also went to a flower garden today just to walk around and take some pictures. By some I mean about 150. (Thank God for digital photography) ;-) As we all know we can take about 100 pictures, and one or two will come out really well. I also thank God for photoshop. Because of it I am able to share these with you. :-) Enjoy.

I hope you liked them. ;-)

Love,

Wendy Darling