Thursday, February 04, 2010

The Five Love Languages of Children.

I believe I have mentioned this book, written by Gary Chapman, before. It is a wonderful book, and I intend to read it again. :-)

Today Homeschool View had a wonderful article about "How to Speak Your Homeschooler's Love Language." I have copied it here. If you homeschool but do not subscribe to Homeschool View's blog, I highly recommend heading over and signing up for it. It is through Alpha Omega, so you might need to register there first. I'm not sure about that part.

Do your children feel loved? Do they sense your unconditional affection and support as they homeschool? Although we may think we're showing love to our children during the day, many times our homeschoolers fail to feel loved because we use the wrong love language. According to The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, children sense love in five basic ways: words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Do you know which of these love languages speaks loudest to your child's heart?

Determining your child's love language will enable you to achieve family closeness and provide a solid emotional foundation for your child while homeschooling with your curriculum from Alpha Omega Publications®. One simple test you can use to find your child's love language is to ask your child this question:

"If I was gone on vacation for several weeks, what would you like me to do when I returned home?"

• Tell you how much I missed you. (words of affirmation)
• Bring a gift back for you. (gift giving)
• Spend the day playing together. (quality time)
• Make your favorite meal for supper. (acts of service)
• Give you a big hug and kiss. (physical touch)

Although your child may say he would like you to do all of these, ask him to pick out the one action he thinks is most important. This will allow you to pinpoint his particular love language and enable you to communicate your love to him more effectively.

So, what are some practical ways of meeting your homeschooled child's need for love? Depending on your child's particular love language you might do the following:

Words of Affirmation - Mean what you say. No flattery allowed.
• Write encouraging comments like "great job" on daily papers.
• Offer sincere compliments when he demonstrates positive character qualities with siblings.
• Be polite and use "please" and "thank you" liberally.
• Praise him verbally as often as you can for both his efforts and successes in school.
• Pray aloud with him daily and ask for God's blessing on his life.

Gift Giving - It doesn't need to be expensive, just thoughtful and age appropriate.
• Purchase items (favorite candy bar, coloring book, etc.) from dollar-value stores to use as daily rewards on schoolwork.
• Choose a gift or plan an activity he has been wanting and give it as a reward for a successful school year.
• Create a surprise love bucket. Each week, fill the bucket with educational items like art supplies, an educational computer game, a new reference book, a new notebook, or other study items.
• Make homemade gifts. These gifts may even spark an interest in carpentry, sewing, photography, gardening, and other life skills.

Quality Time - Undivided attention required. No multi-tasking allowed.
• Cherish learning together. Don't hurry through school lessons.
• Take all the time necessary to work through questions he doesn't understand.
• Plan an individual homeschool field trip covering one of his subjects.
• Skip school and plan a regular date once a month to do something fun.
• Watch a movie, play a board game, or read a book together.
• Play a seasonal sport activity together for physical education class.
• Work together on a hobby he enjoys.

Acts of Service - Be creative. Go beyond the normal duties.
• Help him paint and redecorate his room.
• Plan a special party or activity for his homeschool friends.
• Wash and wax his car.
• Volunteer to help in his Sunday school class or youth group at church.

Physical Touch - Warning! This love language is not for young children only!
• Give kisses and hugs without measure!
• Cuddle in a chair while you share a book.
• Give a back rub while he is studying at the computer or the table.
• Give a pedicure or manicure as you study lessons on health.

Most importantly, don't assume you are communicating love effectively simply because you homeschool. Just as children learn academics in a variety of ways, they also feel love from their parents differently. If you want your children to remember their homeschooling days as ones filled with love, monitor their hearts through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, apply large amounts of God's agape love, and communicate in the love language they understand best!

Wendy Darling


Anonymous said...
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AOP said...

Hello, my name is Kristi Gesink and I work for the Homeschooling Company Alpha Omega Publications. I noticed after reading through your blog that you reference our Daily Devotional. We would like to say a big thank you for mentioning our company on your blog and we would appreciate it very much if you would please turn that mention into an actual link to our website at, that way friends and readers can simply click on the link and sign up for our devotionals too.

If you have any questions please email me at

Thanks again and may God bless your day!
Kristi Gesink

WendyDarling said...

You got it, Kristi. :-)