Monday, February 27, 2006

Dear Peter,

I hope you are doing well. I don't really have any organized thoughts to send today. It is late, and I really should be in bed, but I have too many thoughts rattling around in my brain. There are many projects I SHOULD have gotten finished today, but didn't have time. Only two have deadlines, so as long as I finish them tomorrow I should be okay. I also didn't have all of the information to finish other things. Isn't procrastination contagious?

Some of my projects hinge on other people doing their part. They procrastinate, so I don't finish my work. Then I find myself procrastinating with the other projects I could finish if so inclined. Does one ever truly "outgrow" procrastination? I used to procrastinate as a child. Then, as I "grew up" (as much as one can) I tried to become more responsible, and I have done quite well with it; especially this last year. I guess we all let ourselves "slip" at times, but now we are so much older it is harder to catch up. Why can't we just all learn that if we finish the work quickly we will have a lot more "playtime"? I know I am rambling, Peter. I guess the late hour is getting to me.

I also know how blessed I am to have the family that I do. My family truly understands the word "sacrifice". We always have. We were taught by example. My brother, "John" and sister work tirelessly to provide for us. Just this week our other sister and her loving husband sacrificed for us as well to help provide us with a great need. My loving sister sacrifices for her children to see that they are well cared for and happy. She puts their needs and happiness before her own. Her love is great for them. My mother sacrifices her time and energy, so that I may have the time to teach (my one true calling that I love to do), and take care of my responsibilities. I sacrifice as well, but I count it so small a sacrifice it's not worth mentioning. The whole point is everyone sacrifices because the love we have for one another is greater than anything else. And yet, I find it so hard to say these very words to them. Why? For fear of being ridiculed? For fear it won't be received sincerely? I don't know. It seems that as we grow up we lose that innocence to say whatever we want and know that it will be taken as it is being given. We put up a wall, and second guess ourselves. Have we become so cynical that we just take it for granted that people will doubt our motives?

Again, I am sorry for the ramblings tonight. Maybe it is because it is late. Maybe it is because it has been a long day. Maybe it is because....

I will write again soon, with a much more upbeat letter.
Hug Tink and the boys for me.
Wendy Darling

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