Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I believe the word she used was "Moxie"...

mox·ie /ˈmɒksi/ –noun Slang.
vigor; verve; pep.
courage and aggressiveness; nerve.
skill; know-how.

Growing up I was very shy. "Moxie" is definitely not a word someone would use to describe me. I was much happier behind the scenes. I didn't really "venture out of my shell" until the 6th grade. I tried out for the choir, and landed a role as "Spirit #3" in "A Christmas Carol". Of course, they couldn't hear me past the first row.

I didn't really begin to come out of shell until college. I attended a small, Christian Jr. College. I didn't know squat about college life, and didn't know what to expect. I didn't know a single soul there. I hadn't planned on going to college, but the Lord provided me with scholarships to cover my tuition and books, so my "journey into adulthood" began.

In the first couple of days at college I attempted to break out of my comfort zone. I purposely put myself in situations where I would have to talk to people; socialize. I attended the "get to know you" parties, orientation, and the first night Dorm Meeting helped a lot. Of course, my "big sister" was a lot of comfort and help. ;-) Seriously. She was a year older than me, pretty, VERY smart and she had a wonderful sense of humor. OH, and she was also blind. The first night that I met her was during our dorm meeting and we had to say one unique thing about ourselves. She stood up and proudly stated "I am the only one here who can read in the dark." I instantly knew I liked this girl. SHE had Moxie.

Then came registration day. We did that in two days, and I got to register on day one. I was totally lost, but other students were very helpful. On day two my suite mates had to register. I went down with them, since I was now a "pro" at registration, and the cutest guy was sitting in the hallway as we all walked in. Each of my suite mates collectively swooned. Yes, he was cute. He looked up at us, smiled and said "How ya doin'?" I still remember it. :-)

A few minutes later I could see he getting frustrated, and he began looking around the floor for something. I took a deep breath, walked right up to him, stuck out my hand and said, "Hi, I'm Wendy. Do you need some help with registration?" He shook my hand, smiled, and said, "I'm Michael, and yes, I seemed to have lost one the cards I need for registration." We determined which one it was, I said "I'll be right back." I walked into the room, took the card off of the table, brought it back and helped him fill it out. My suite mates were in shock, and to be honest I thought I was having an out of body experience, because I did not recognize this girl who so easily was talking to a strange guy. (Even if he was cute.) :-)

I was standing in line with my suite mates as he walked out and thanked me. Then, one of suite mates said, "Girl, you got Moxie." I admit, I had to look it up, because I had never heard the word before, but once I knew what it meant I liked it. I liked it, because it totally was not me, but I wanted it to be. :-)

I have discovered over the years since then that I have shown courage when needed, most of the time. Totally because of God though, not on my own power. The "Stepping UP" Bible Study by Beth Moore has revealed this to me.

At times, I am still like a child who would rather hide in a corner than do what her "Father" asks her to do, or worse "commands." But, I try to stand up straight, and pray "God, give me some moxie". I want to be that kind of person. :-)

All of this came to me today when I ran into one of my proffesors from time at Jr. College. A lot of the things I had forgotten came back to me today. Then, it blended with what I am learning now, and God showed me just how much I have changed since those "shy days" of my youth. For me to grow like that is totally "a God thing." He is good. :-)

Wendy Darling


Princess LadyBug said...

Moxie is one of my favorite words. :)

Julie said...

I love the way Beth Moore prays when she says things like, "Make me smarter than I am!"

I was more what I would call quiet than shy, but I think we could all use a little more moxie. Lord, give me more moxie than I think I have!"