Wendy's Wonderings

Sometimes it isn't worth talking to a REAL person...

If you're like me there are many times when you call a company you just want to talk to a real person. Someone without that monotone voice on the other end that tells you to keep pushing buttons. MANY BUTTONS. I just want to be able to ask a question.

So, yesterday when I decided to make a couple of purchases from those neat little inserts you get in the Sunday paper, I called instead of doing it online. (We'll call that mistake #1)

The first one I called was Pro-Active. I got a representative right away. I didn't have to wait, listening to some lame music or advertisement for the company. I thought it was a good sign. My representative spoke very fast, and didn't exactly have an American accent. I couldn't understand a lot of things she said, and I had to ask her to repeat herself several times.

I finally got through the end of it, I understood my purchase and my payment plan, etc. She asked, "Do you have any other questions, or purchases you would like to make today?" I replied, "No, thank you. Good Bye." It was all finalized and I was happy.

But, she wasn't finished. Oh no. She then spoke even faster than before (if that was possible) and began to try to get me to purchase vitamins, oil remover, and several other things. Now, like most of you, I was taught not to interrupt people when they are talking. Over the years though, I have decided that telephone sales people are an exemption to that rule. It just wastes their time, and mine, when I know I am not going to make any other purchases. I could tell she was reading from a script. I tried to interrupt her, but she wasn't stopping. So, when she finished her pitch I politely replied, "No thank you. I have what I need."

She then tried to begin again, this time I did manage to interrupt with "No thank you, all I need is what I ordered. I appreciate your time." And, I hung up on her. I did feel a twinge of guilt, because I know it was rude, but when they don't stop how else do you handle that?

Then, I made a call for a purchase my Mom was making. It was to a clothing company. Again, I immediately got a representative. A very nice lady who did not talk too fast, and who I understood very well. "This one will be much easier..." I thought. I was WRONG!

Placing my order took less than 5 minutes. They had everything she wanted in stock, and all was well. Then, the representative asked the inevitable question, "Will there be anything else?" I said, "No, thank you. That is all." and before I could say "Good-Bye" she went into a full scale pitch about Health Care insurance. Excuse me? I called a clothing company, not an insurance company. She spoke even more quickly than the last woman, and I could not interrupt at all. So, when she, FINALLY, finished telling me that she could "easily sign me up for one free month and if I was not completely satisfied I could cancel at any time..." I told her, "No, thank you, I know I won't use it so I will save you and myself the trouble." She then, reading from a script, continued the pitch telling me "I was making such a terrible mistake and it was oh so easy to sign me up for a FREE month and I could cancel at any time but she couldn't believe why I would because I would save OH SO MUCH MONEY." (WHEW! I don't know how she did it, but she never took a breath, seriously)

Again, after declining and hanging up on her, I thought about it, and I have decided to beat them at their own game. I have written my own "preface" to give when calling a sales representative. :-) Here it is, and feel free to use it the next time you have to talk to one of them. :-)

"Hello____________________,
My name is ____________________, and I will be happy to spell that for you in just a moment, but first let me just go ahead and save us both some valuable time. I want to make a purchase from you. I have thought long and hard about my purchase, and I have only what I absolutely want to buy on my list. I do not wish to hear about any other fabulous offer you have that I may not be aware of. Believe me, I am aware of it and I don't want it. Please, do not try to sell me accessories, extras, insurance, warranties, etc. I assure you my world will not fall apart if I do not add those things to my order.

I don't care if I get a free trial for one month, because we both know that I will be so busy next month that I will forget to cancel and then I will be out money as well as time when I DO call to cancel. That will not be good for you or me, so we will just avoid that issue altogether.

However, I do have an order right in front of me, and I have all of my information ready to give to you. If you would be so kind as to type it in and give me my confirmation number. Please, be aware that when our conversation is completely finalized I will politely thank you, and promptly hang up the phone. Do not be offended, as I am saving your valuable time as well as mine. Are you ready to begin?"

How does that sound? Too much? ;-)

Love,
Wendy Darling